Do you check your phone at the dinner table? Engage in “phubbing”? Check your phone immediately when you hear the ring of a notification? Technology consumes the lives of the vast majority of people and is becoming evident that its presence is hurting the nature of face-to-face conversation. “The Empathy Diaries” written by Shelly Turkle, PhD in sociology from Harvard University, explores this recent crisis coined as the “flight from conversation” (344). Through a well-crafted essay, Turkle argues that there is a degradation of genuine conversation in the recent generation that is caused from an increase focus of technological conversation. This lack of in-person conversation has obvious, tangible, negatives effects on youth and their ability to self-reflect and feel empathy towards others. The exigence of this piece stems from Turkle being asked by a middle school dean to meet with faculty regarding concerns of students’ abilities to form friendships, the exigence of this piece. I agree with Turkle’s argument that there is clear flight from conversation that is having detrimental effects on children’s abilities to develop necessary social skills, however it seems as though Turkle’s inherent bias undermines the connective power that a technological conversation can have. In addition, when it comes to her ultimate call to action, the help of older generations is crucial as 21st century readers would be unable “reclaim conversation” due to a lack of realization to the presence of the problem.

Especially to the current generation, in-person interactions are viewed as awkward and uncomfortable, yet Turkle explains that it is the unpredictable nature of an in-person conversation that allows one to develop crucial social skills, such as empathy. Phones have become an outlet to avoid interactions. When sitting in a waiting room, walking past someone on the sidewalk, or waiting for a class to start, it has become one’s initial reaction to glance at their phone aimlessly, in hopes of avoiding eye contact or awkward small talk. When elaborating on this idea of phones being a way to hide from others, Turkle writes:

It all adds up to a flight from conversation—at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. Yet, these are the conversations where empathy and intimacy flourish and social action gains strength (344).

As Turkle alludes, conversations via technology are easy: you have time to craft every response, you can choose your level of engagement, and they avoid any effort required in real conversation such as eye-contact, reading body language, and generating quick responses. One of Turkle’s teenage interviewees put it best: “‘On computers, if things are unpredictable, it’s in a predictable way’” (346). However, there is a clear danger with being accustomed to this type of communication, we become unable to take part in the in-person counterpart. As Turkle highlighted, if we don’t constantly engage in real conversation and lack ample practice, we become undeveloped in the skills they provide like empathy and intimacy, which results in an inability to foster genuine connections with others.